Monday AfterNoons, anyone?
by anuveon
Summary: In which Monday's Noon and Dusk discuss their differing opinions between light and dark, alongside with blobs of Nothing holes, cake and paperwork. Broken blinds, angry Denizens and...weird allergies. Crack, oneshot. Why are they not in the char list!


**Author's Notes: **So...this would be my first KttK novel. Please note the fact that I have NOT read Mister Monday for years...or the series, for that matter. I'm just about to start Lord Sunday, though. Finally.

This entire scene was inspired through an MSN RP...and yes, I do have **Crimson Cupcake **to thank for that.

If any of the personalities seem iffy to you, blame it on my lack of reading, I don't even know what the heck I'm writing! :P Anyway, Noon was kind of...not really...based off Lucius Malfoy, because I vaguely remember something like that...I'm rambling again. Anyway, read on and enjoy! Don't forget to leave a review!

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Dusk would blame _him_ for it, of course – being the heartless, lying bastard he was. However, he, Monday's Noon, would declare haughtily that since _he_ had started the blind pulling business, it was all _his_ fault. Really! And it was _his_ fault for the blobby mess of Nothing, as well. He, Monday's Noon, would have never provoked Dusk to do such a thing!

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Monday's Noon was quietly sitting in his office, staring at the paperwork that was accumulating on his desk. Of course, he was occasionally finishing it off, but the curious thing was that the paperwork was rather..._unending_. Glancing up, partly to spare him from looking at the papers for any longer than he needed to as well as looking around the room, a small, yet persistent smile tugged on his lips.

Yes, today was delightfully sunny in the Lower House, and Noon was rather luxuriously bathing in it, watching it stream through the unshuttered blinds in and endless torrent of bright light. If he stuck his tongue out now, Noon thought to himself, he was sure it would glitter a rather majestic silver in the mechanical sunlight.

With the barest amount of regret visible on his face, Noon returned his attention to the unfinished paperwork on his table. There was still that claim about 'hammocks strung all around Monday's Dayroom' that he had to put to rest.

A light knock at his door roused Noon from his thoughts, and he looked up. "Enter," he commanded, standing as he did so. The door opened with a dreadful squeal, and Noon almost winced. _That_ would definitely need a new coat of oil. And knowing Monday, a mere request like that would simply be lost in the bureaucratic tangle that was the Lower House. Actually, Noon thought, his Commissionaires wouldn't be a bad idea to fix the door. Shaking his head, Noon rid himself of such ridiculous thoughts, finally noticing his visitor.

"Heellooo?" Monday's Dusk was staring at him, flapping a hand in front of Noon's face. "Noon, are you...disturbed? On crack?"

Noon stared back, slightly blearily. "What?" he muttered, before straightening. An affronted look settled over his features. "What in the name of the House are you talking about, Dusk?"

Dusk blinked, nodding to himself. "I guess that's a yes, then," he mumbled to himself, taking a bite out of the cake that had somehow appeared in his hand from...somewhere. Noon straightened again, eyeing the cake rather...hungrily. He had his urges to eat sweet food now and then, after all. That was nothing new...right?

Noon sat down, rifling through his drawers with perhaps a tad more urgency than would have been...acceptable. When he found no cake, he sighed. "I was sure I had some left to indulge in," he murmured, shooting a not-so-surreptitious, _suspicious_ almost, look at Dusk.

Dusk, on his part, used the _shifty eyes._

Almost too upset to notice the strange look in Dusk's eyes, Noon glared at his stack of paperwork, mentally willing it to become cake.

"I'd summon some Nothing to become cake for you, you know," Dusk said blithely. Noon sent a sharp look at him, before returning the glare to the paperwork, where it probably rightfully belonged.

A moment later, Noon transferred that same glare back to Dusk. He _had_ caught Dusk's _shifty eyes_, after all.

"Are you sure _you're_ not the one on crack, Dusk?" he asked rather acerbically. "We are not in the land of Pokémon, I'll have you know." The last part was spat out distastefully, letting his brother know in less than subtle tones that his use of shifty eyes was _not at all appreciated._

Dusk, on his part, was rather shocked, and understandably so. "How do you even _know_ Pokémon, brother?" he queried inquiringly. Then, after a moment: "...What _is_ Pokémon?"

Noon glared, annoyed at both himself as well as Dusk. Really, he hadn't meant for that bit of information to slip out, but – well, it just had. Noon's knowledge of Pokémon could lead to disastrous results. It would be safely if Dusk simply...did not remember this occurrence at all.

_Yes,_ a crazed, axe-murderer-ish part of his mind agreed. He instantly quelled it.

"Pokémon, Dusk?" Noon raised an eyebrow, even as he struggled to not let his silver tongue curl disgustedly at the word – Pokémon, not Dusk. "What are you talking about?" At the same time, he casually dropped his hand to his pocket, where there lay a...stick. Yes, stick would be the best word to describe it.

Yet, Noon insisted that it was a wand.

Monday's Dusk stared. "I was imagining?" he asked, scratching at his head confusedly. "Oh, well. Too bad, _brother,_ no cake for you." All this was said with a small, cheerful grin upon his face. Noon suppressed a grimace at the mention of the cake.

On the outside, Noon finally let out a tight smile. He was quite pleased to see that his obvious...charm...had worked on Dusk. With lightning quick reflexes, he jerked the stick out of his pocket with a grand flourish, pointing it directly at his brother. "Obliviate," he said blandly, waving around the twig in a random motion.

Dusk blinked again, wondering where Noon had gotten his so called wand from. Perhaps, he mused, he had stolen a branch off Grim Tuesday's metal tree – no, he realised after a moment's contemplation – the stick that Noon was holding was clearly wood.

He was broken out of his reverie by Noon shaking the clearly unresponsive and rather obviously useless thing in his face once more. _"Obliviate,_ Architect-damn it."

Dusk stared once more, bemused. "Noon, that's not how you use magic," he patronised, summoning a blob of Nothing at the same time and chucking it at the other. No, it didn't really matter that he wasn't a sorcerer or anything – really.

Letting out something halfway between a roar and an undignified squeal – not that Noon would ever admit to emitting _any_ one of the unbecoming sounds – Noon jumped to the side, knocking over half of his paperwork with him. Oh well, at least his face hadn't been dissolved by Nothing. However, his relief was short lived as he slowly turned around, warily watching Dusk's somehow conjured Nothing eating away at a quickly expanding hole in his wall.

Furious, he rounded on Dusk. "Now just look what happened," he snarled, poking his brother viciously in the chest. "What was that for, anyway?"

Dusk only rolled his eyes at the enraged Noon. "I only came in to ask you a question, Noon," he said. "Don't play with magic if you don't know the consequences."

Noon scowled right back at him. "That would be _you_ who's playing with magic, not I," he griped. Pausing, he turned back to the disintegrating wall, fixing it with a penetrating glare (and almost staring a _new_ hole into it!). "And what question would that be?" he sniffed, turning back to his brother. The Nothing would have to wait until his infuriating brother was gone. Perhaps while the Commissionaires were at his door, they could fix up the hole in his wall.

Noon hated leaving his office in a mess, after all.

Dusk chose to ignore his first sentence, instead grabbing a chair and sitting down. "I wanted to ask," he said carefully, "how do you stand the sun?"

Noon was so busy mourning over the almost loss of his wall that he only processed Dusk's question after a few moments. And then he spent a few more staring at Dusk in a considerably uncomprehending manner. "...I really hope you're not a vampire or anything," he said finally, his tone somewhat unbelieving. What _was_ Dusk's business, asking him that, anyway?

Glaring at his brother, Dusk replied **coldly**, "Are you going to answer or not?"

Noon smirked at Dusk's unsettled manner. "My, my, someone's touchy today."

Instead of answering, Dusk swept a gaze around the room, taking in the too bright atmosphere. _Too bright._ He decided to revert to his original question. "Fine. Why do you like the light, then?"

Shrugging, Noon took Dusk's example and looked over his office. "Perhaps that is the difference between us," he told his brother. Then his previously almost-non-existent smile widened. "Would you mind if I opened several more of the blinds, by the way?" Noon smiled blandly, almost innocently.

But then again, it was Noon. The words 'Noon' and 'innocent' just did _not_ fit together in a sentence.

The smile bounced off Dusk, but the words did not. "More? More? You have three open already!" However, he knew there was no arguing with Noon. He – They were too different from each other. "Fine. Do whatever you want."

Noon stared at Dusk, the faint whisperings of amusement coming to his face. "More? More?" he imitated in Dusk's voice, rolling his eyes in the process to show his obvious ridicule. "Stop quacking at me, you're beginning to sound like a duck."

Under his breath, he muttered, "We all know it suits you, too," but he wasn't sure if Dusk heard it or not.

However, Dusk _had_ heard what Noon was saying before. "Noon! If you don't want to answer, I'll leave you to your...sunbathing," he exclaimed, pausing before he chose his last word. Not that it wasn't strictly true, mind you – oh to hell with it, everyone who knew Noon knew his penchant for soaking up the sun like a bloody sponge. Oh, Dusk sure as hell wouldn't like taking over Noon's job if he ever have to.

At Noon's blank, vacant look, Dusk summoned another blob of Nothing.

Jerking to attention, Noon impressively quelled the urge to do something irrational, such as swatting the blob of Nothing from Dusk's reach with his own bare hand...or something. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted to do, really. "Sunbathing?" Noon drawled, scoffing at the word while gesturing around the office. "This is what you call a little light?"

Meanwhile, mentally, Noon wondered if he could really knock Nothing from Dusk...particularly without the risk of disintegrating himself in the process. Yes, that would be a bonus.

Dusk frowned at the glare. "Far too _much_ light, brother. Why don't you just pull down a couple of blinds..." Walking towards the nearest window, he dropped the Nothing ungraciously onto the carpeted floor and began tugging on the stubborn blinds, pulling them down.

Noon frowned. "Careful with that!" he hissed, pointing at the Nothing and drawing back a little. "That's going to eat a hole in the FLOOR, now." Annoyed, and in the mood for pissing his brother off, Noon headed off to another window, one that had its blinds down. With a hearty jerk, the blinds screeched upwards.

Dusk paid no attention to the Nothing, which was probably going to drip into whatever poor Denizen who had their room underneath Noon's. Rather, he was rather busy glaring at Noon. "You're doing that purposefully just to tick me off, aren't you?" he accused.

While Dusk was speaking, Noon took the opportunity to come closer, just opposite to where his brother was standing. "Why of course, brother," he replied smoothly, smirking. However, his actions belied his words as he yanked on the blinds that Dusk had just let down. Bright rays of light washed into the room, bathing it in a wonderful afternoon glow. Noon let out a genuine smile.

Dusk winced at the sudden light streaming through the windows. "Noon! What are you trying to do, flood the whole place with light or something?"

Instead of answering him, Noon tilted his head to the side appraisingly. "Tell me, Dusk," he began, "are you really a vampire?"

Dusk frowned thoughtfully. "A vampire? Is this something Dawn drilled into your head? What's that?"

Noon blinked, surprised. He had been expecting Dusk to angrily deny it (to which Noon would have smugly responded in the negative) or even summon yet another blob of Nothing. At that point, Noon would have rather patiently – or impatiently, depending on how you look at it – summoned his Architectural sword and proceeded to stop Dusk from _freaking flinging Nothing all around his room_.

However, he hadn't been expecting this.

"Are you allergic to light?" Noon settled for, frowning.

Dusk glared, insulted. "Allergic? To light? How many brain cells have you destroyed eating cake over the past few weeks?"

"What are you babbling about?" Noon cut through, scowling darkly. There was no 'silver-tongue' here. He frowned at his brother in disapproval. "You know you're the only one who has been consuming cake," he muttered.

Dusk ignored him, instead reaching for the blinds and pulling at them again. The blinds flew closed again at the sudden tug, once again bathing the room with – well, it couldn't really be called _bathing_, could it? All the same, it was a relief to Dusk. Sudden darkness replaced where there had previously been light.

"You know," Dusk continued thoughtfully, "If you love the sun so much, why don't you make it hang in the air forever?"

Noon scowled at the sudden, not so carefully concealed barb. It wasn't like he could do anything about the sun – in his current position, anyway...he did the only thing he could do in his position.

He pulled the blinds back up again.

Dusk smirked smugly, knowing he had hit home with his statement. "Even the _great_ Noon can't do something like th –" he was cut off as Noon pulled the blinds back up. Dusk glared.

"You...imbecile!"

Noon smirked, letting the insult slide off him. "You know, if I could, the sun would be in this very room, at this very instant, and you would be in the centre of it," he said mildly, his mind conjuring up the image for him. "You'd be incinerated in an instant, and I'd dust my hands off quite happily."

Dusk stared in some apprehension at the disturbing thought. "You can't do that," he instead said. "The sun is...mechanical. It can't move like that!"

Noon shrugged. "What's to stop me from imagining it?" Another yank, and the blind was up again. Dusk blinked a few times at the sudden stream of light. Then he rolled his eyes. His brother really was insufferable...

Yanking with just a tad more force than was safe due to his irritation at Noon, Dusk lowered the blinds.

"Are you deliberately trying to annoy me?" Noon swatted the blinds up.

Dusk slammed them back down. Noon was being such a child! "You stupid, idiotic –" The blinds flew up.

Throwing his hands up in the air in frustration, Dusk pulled the blinds down again. There goes my reputation, he thought wistfully, enjoying the peaceful darkness for roughly half a second before it was jerked away again. Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

Up. Down.

Updownupdownupdownupdown –

"Oh, that's enough!" Dusk sent a dangerous glare at Noon, who brushed it off with minimal effort. With a rather insolent smile, Noon tugged one final time. _Swish!_

Up went the blinds again.

"GAAHHHHH!"

Dusk snapped, madly groping for the blinds and ripping it down as fast as he could, with all of the inhuman strength he could muster.

_Snap._

Dusk's head snapped up as the previously taut rope suddenly slackened. That, coupled with the noise, was the only warning he had before the entire set crashed down with a massive cloud of dust on top of himself...and Noon.

Dusk winced.

"_DUSK!"_ Noon was walking that thin line between 'shout' and 'loudly talking'. Struggling, he tried to clamber out of the mess of blinds, only to watch the whole window pane simply...collapse onto himself. Apparently Dusk's overenthusiastic tug had done something else than dislodge the blinds. Dusk struggled to contain a snigger.

"That really wasn't my fault," he began, trying to escape from the mess himself, without much success. "It was your loud shrieking that made the window fall on top of you, obviously."

Noon finally heaved the window pane off him, throwing it across the room – he was unaware of it, but it ended up crashing into his table, dislodging what was left of his paperwork. He'd have to salvage it someday, he just knew it.

"Oh, shut up," he grumbled, irritated. "How the hell are we supposed to get out of this now?"

"Well," Dusk started, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, "since there isn't a window ready to fall on us anymore, I suppose it's safe to try and get all of the blinds off us..."

Noon sent a dirty look his way before heaving a few of the heavy blinds away, disgusted with the small clouds of smoke that appeared every time he moved them. Even more disgusting, he noted, was that most of it was ending up either on his hands or sleeves. A few dust particles drifted past his nose. "Oh hell n –" was all Noon managed before he let out a violent, angry sneeze.

There was absolute silence in the room for a moment while Noon regained his senses (he was a Denizen, for goodness' sakes! He shouldn't be sneezing like a human from the Secondary Realms!) and the dust that he had dislodged from his sneeze settled quietly.

Immediately, Noon's gaze swung to Dusk. "Shut up," he immediately ordered, and the two worked for a while, disentangling themselves from the blinds. Absently, Noon wondered how there were so many spread everywhere.

It was only when they were almost done that Dusk turned to him, and Noon just _knew_ there was mischief lurking somewhere with his brother.

"Say, Noon," Dusk said innocently. "Are you allergic to dust, by any chance?"

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When the Commissionaires arrived, they found themselves in a rather confusing situation. Of course, it was already a bit weird, being used as a strange kind of cleaning squad, but it was _Noon_ after all, and his orders weren't to be questioned. They had first worked, without complaint, on restoring all of the necessary paperwork to Noon's work desk. Then, they had set to work on the temperamental door hinges.

When they were about to start on the blinds and replacing the window pane, several Midnight Visitors appeared. Apparently, Dusk had sheepishly asked them to come in and fix up the Nothing created holes in the wall and floor.

With the workload shared, Noon's office was quickly restored to normal (the only hitch in the entire operation was when the angry Denizen from below had started threatening the Commissionaires with several droplets of Nothing she had collected while Nothing dripped through the floor to her place) and soon seemed like the entire scuffle with Dusk had never taken place.

When Noon returned the next day, he had been rather pleasantly surprised – that is, until he found the extra paperwork about 'some strange occurrences happening in Monday's Noon's office'.

_Well_, Noon thought, filing it out to Dusk, _I'm sure Dusk will appreciate that he's being forced to share the paperwork, for once._

After all, it was _his _fault that the entire indignity that was their last afternoon together had ended so badly.

Right?

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**Author's Note: **I can't believe I managed to stretch that out for so long, really. Woah. Once again, apologies for any weird things happening, I'm sleep deprived and I've pretty much forgotten...lots...about the series!

Drop a review please, tell me what you think!

-kyokugen


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